CAMPUS NEWS

COVID Response Team Announces Level-0 Transition was April Fools Joke: Students Actually Required to Leave by Wednesday

STUDENT SUBMISSION

Last Friday, the Gustavus COVID leadership team sent out an exciting email. On April 1st, it was announced that the Gustavus campus would be moving into COVID Level 0, meaning students will no longer be required to wear masks in the singular building where it was still enforced. This announcement was met with universal jubilation – One student reported letting out an involuntary “Yippee!!” upon opening the email and reading its contents.

However, this joy would not last long. Shortly after the initial email, President Bergman issued an emergency announcement:

My Golden Gusties,

April Fools! It was all a joke. We thought it would be a funny way to break the news to you all that we’re sending you home again, just like two years ago when you all thought you’d actually get to come back after an extended spring break. That’s right, we’re going back to distance learning! Haha, I know. Every student must be vacated by Wednesday, April 6th. You will not be allowed back in your dorms.

Yours in community,

President Bergman

Following this controversial announcement, the student body was split into two factions. One side felt duped, tricked, hoodwinked even. This vocal minority of students believed it was unfair and evil to pull the rug out from under us like that. They are requesting an immediate formal apology and any evidence whatsoever that shows we need to be sent home. The rest of the student body recognizes that it was obviously April Fools and if anyone was actually dumb enough to fall for it they deserve to be sent home (and probably also need a lesson in how to take a joke). We commend Becky and our COVID leadership team for continuing to give us the opportunities to show how flexible and resilient we are under these continuously evolving circumstances. More to follow, and don’t forget to pack your textbooks, Gusties!

Categories: CAMPUS NEWS, COMMENTARY

Tagged as: