Death Hill to be Transformed into Cliff for Midsommar Festival

ST. PETER, MN — If there is one thing every student knows about Gustavus, it’s that this school holds a strong sense of Swedish nationalism and is proud of its roots and founders. To exemplify this pride, the Campus Activities Board was proud to announce a new Midsommar Festival that is set to occur during the final days of classes this semester.

“It truly is such an honor for the Scandinavian Studies department to be sponsoring such an important event!” states Swedish professor David Jessup, “The Midsommar festival happens very rarely in Sweden, only once every 90 years, but this summer is set to be one of the hottest on record. Perfect conditions for the festival, which we would never have been able to put on without the help of our international exchange student, Ingemar!”

Ingemar proves to be a mysterious figure on campus for those who know of him. While described to be charming and polite, many claim that they have “received bad vibes from him”, and not just for the fact that he doesn’t have a last name. While The Fourth Crown was unable to get an interview with the Swede, our reporters were able to gather information through the grapevine. Apparently, he comes from a commune in mid-eastern Sweden called the Hårga – Ingemar is also why the commune is on campus, currently.

Over the weekend, a group of about 40 people from the Hårga arrived on campus to begin aid with preparations for the festival. While being welcomed by the college, Commune Elder Siv had this to say about their arrival: “Brother Ingemar reached out with wonderful news! When our family heard that there was a school in America enriched with Swedish heritage, we were deeply touched. Brother Ingemar had high praise for the small community on top of the hill, so much so that we thought a visit was in order!”

Over the next four weeks, students can expect to see the members of the Hårga building and assembling various structures that will house differing activities for the Midsommar festival. of all of these projects, however, one of the most intense seems to be the landscaping efforts being done to Death Hill, blocking the way for many drunk Gusties. “We were shocked to hear that Gustavus had Death Hill of their own!” says Elder Siv, “But when we saw it we had to laugh. You would not die from this hill! You simply roll down it, haha!” When asked what the hill was going to be used for, Fourth Crown reporters were told that the soon-to-be cliff would be necessary for the “Ätestupa”, a ceremony that will be used to honor alumni of the college.

While things on campus may be slowly shifting to reflect the awkwardness of Gustavus housing and supporting what is essentially a cult, many are excited to see what the festival has in store. Senior Psychology major Dani Oldenburg is one of the many who plan on attending the festival, telling one of our reporters that “My boyfriend Christian and I are planning on going to celebrate our four year anniversary… his idea, not mine.” This hype, however, has been dampened by the disappearance of Senior Anthropology major Josh Harper. If anyone has any information on the whereabouts of Josh, please contact Campus Safety or the Hårga-arranged search party. More to follow.

Categories: CAMPUS NEWS