COLLEG AV – Alrighty, dickh ads. Frankly, I’v had nough of this shit for a lit ral lif tim. It’s almost graduation. Just one last month of this shitshow. AND SOM FUCKING COM DIAN THOUGHT IT WOULD B SO FUNNY TO TAK ALL TH E’s AWAY. Why. Why? WHY. Sil nc is God’s reply. I can’t do this anymor . But th y said I hav to writ a story on what you dickh ads did. So h r . H r ‘s your damn story.

At som  point ov r th w  k nd at l ast on or two g nius s had a bright id a – an id a as bright as th p arly whit d ntur s B cky B rgman shov s into h r big ol land acknowl dging mouth  v ry morning. Th s fuck rs must hav had th look of Nicolas Cag  wh n h said h was gonna st al th D claration of 

Ind p nd nc in National Tr asur on th ir stupid idiot fac s. Anyways. I’ll call who v r’s bright id a this was Dumb and Dumb r for the sak  of simplicity. So Dumb and Dumb r mad  th ir way ov r to th sign – th  big pr tty sign in front of th school that  vryon  and th ir moth r tak s pictur s in front of. It’s cut ! And ov r spring br ak th kind p opl  from facilit s put in n w pr tty gold l tt rs. That 

m ans B cky B approv d sp nding for n w l tt rs! Which, for anyon who liv s und r a rock, is a 

pr tty big d al with th whol budg t crisis Gustavus is going through right now. And now Dumb and Dumb r w nt and fuck d it all up! Th fucking audacity. 

List n, th  t a is that th r  is lit rally no r ason to mak lif  mor  difficult for not only facilit s and physical plant, but this isn’t  v n an original prank. Som body alr ady did th  whol  “st aling l tt rs thing last semester. And I won’t li , Gustavus Adolphus Oll g was pretty funny. BUT NOW LOOK AT IT. How fucking stupid do s “Gustavus Adolphus Coll g “ look?? It’s just silly, okay? Stop it. You p nis. How’s that? I don’t think you’r d s rving of b ing call d a dick. You’r a p nis. 

List n. Who v r you ar , you can still put the l tt rs back. L t th s niors tak nic graduation pictur s for th ir annoying par nts, make St. Olaf f  l bad for not having a cool sign, and throw this school a bon . This plac  is falling apart as it is – us  your lib ral arts  ducation and com  up with an original bit that do sn’t activ ly mak lif  mor difficult for p opl  that ar n’t the administration. 

My m ssag to you is the sam as my m ssage to the British Mus um: Giv that shit back, dumbass.