SAINT PETERSBURG, MN— After three days celebrating the ascension of Gustavus Adolphus College Premier Rebecca M. Bergman following her unanimous election by the Supreme Soviet of Gustavus Adolphus College (formerly the Board of […]
SAINT PETER— Saying that she is excited for the upcoming Inauguration festivities, President Rebecca Bergman confirmed today that she will be the featured keytar soloist at the Thursday Inaugural Concert. Bergman, set […]
SAINT PETER—Following the completion of a week living together in section 3C of Norelius Hall, first-year student Christie Jensen has reached the conclusion that her section of 22 18-year-old women have made […]
SAINT PETER— Reports have confirmed that renowned cleaning product icon Mr. Clean came out of the closet on Thursday of last week. The clean-shaven, muscular brand figurehead, known for sporting one pierced […]
SAINT PETER— Approaching the end of her third month’s tenure as 17th President of Gustavus Adolphus College, Rebecca Bergman stated Friday that she is overwhelmingly glad that she “only has to be […]
NEW YORK— This past Sunday, September 21, six members of the Gustavus Greens, an environmental justice organization, joined 400,000 people from across the United States at the People’s Climate March in New […]
The following is an account submitted by sophomore student Avery Johnson, who is several weeks into his pledgeship for the local Swedish-Greek organization Gamma Alpha Kappa (GAK). Gamma Alpha boasts 2,400 collegiate members, […]
One of the oldest questions Gusties have asked themselves is what on earth to do with all the copies of The Gustavian Weekly scattered around campus. This dilemma has been particularly challenging this week, […]
SAINT PETER— The International Committee of the Red Cross has opened a refugee camp on the first floor of Norelius Hall to house roommates displaced by intercourse. The camp quickly filled to […]
BREAKING— Following what sources are calling “an absolutely crazy Friday bender,” First-Year Drake Robertson reported that he is a confirmed carrier of Yik Yak. The news comes after Robertson admitted to going […]
The Fourth Crown 