SAINT PETER—For the first time since becoming an official sport on campus, Gustavus’ Nordic Skiing team is finally being discovered by the Gustavus student body, most of which were unaware that Nordic […]
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Study: Deb Actually Third Strictest Caf Lady
MINNEAPOLIS—An independent research commission has released the results of a new in-depth study that indicates that Deb is only the third strictest cashier in Dining Service. Mandy O’Rourke, a research consultant from […]
G-Choir Senior Doesn’t Cry after CinCC
SAINT PETER—After evading reporters for over two months, senior Gustavus Choir member Ashley Werth finally spoke about not crying after her last Christmas in Christ Chapel. “It’s true, I didn’t cry,” Werth […]
Tour Guide Lies about Party Culture
SAINT PETER—On one of the biggest Admission events of the year, sophomore tour guide Laura McKinley downplayed to a prospective student and her parents the nature of party culture at Gustavus. McKinley […]
Gustavus Named “Cystic Fibrosis Gold Medal Facility;” Attributed to Ambiguity of Collegiate Fellow Position
SAINT PETER- In a formal banquet celebrating the close of the North American Cystic Fibrosis Conference (NACFC) last Friday, Gustavus Adolphus College was awarded the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation’s highest honor: a Gold […]
Gustie Watches Fight Club, Life Is “Changed”
SAINT PETER—In what he is now calling a “life-changing event,” William Fisk’s first viewing of the 1999 David Fincher film Fight Club has left quite the impression on the first-year who had […]
Million Dollar Drug Seizure in Substance-Free Norelius Section
SAINT PETER—With the largest drug seizure in Minnesota private college history, Gustavus Campus Safety chalked up a major victory in the college’s anti-drug initiative by confiscating $4.9 million worth of heroin, cocaine, […]
FLASHBACK: John Kennedy’s Record-Breaking Run at the 2010 MIAC Championships
In the interest of preserving and celebrating our illustrious history of over 150 years, The Fourth Crown presents the first of a 2,928,608 part series, FLASHBACK, chronicling the most important events in […]
Nobel HoS Renovations Scheduled to be Completed in Time for them to be Obsolete
SAINT PETER- Professor of Chemistry Scott Bur, in conjunction with the architecture firm Hastings & Chivetta, has confirmed plans for a holistic renovation of the Nobel Hall of Science scheduled to be […]
Children’s Section in Library to be Eliminated and Replaced with President Ohle’s Complete Punk Music Catalog
SAINT PETER— Students and faculty are in an unsurprising uproar following the release of Gustavus President Jack Ohle’s proposed renovation plans to Folke Bernadotte Memorial Library. The proposed changes include removing the […]
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