ST. PETER, MN.– Gusties, it’s the second month of the 2022 fall semester and GAC is welcoming students back the only way it knows how– several dangerous and prolonged gas leaks! While […]
Fun Quiz: Which Gustavus Gas Leak are You?
Politicians Unsure What to Do After Days of Rain Leaves Gustavus’ Political Positions Unknown
ST. PETER, MN– Politics are always a polarizing and difficult matter to discuss. They often divide the masses, as people wholeheartedly align themselves with an ideology that comes to define their very […]
Fall Break Postponed Until Spring
ST. PETER, MN – Gustavus students were shocked on Wednesday when they received an email from President Rebecca Bergman stating that this year’s fall break has been canceled. The email, entitled “Wednesday […]
OPINION: The Fourth Crown is Only Funny Until it Makes Fun of Me
SAINT PETER, MN – Junior exercise physiology major Ashley Larson contributes: I don’t know about the rest of you Gusties, but I think the Fourth Crown is pretty funny most of the […]
Tides of Trouble: A Note From Physical Plant
ST. PETER, MN–It’s that time of year again Gusties. The Freshman class are being pushed to new extremes and the upperclassmen are once again resigning themselves to their fate of returning to […]
Student Aimlessly Wanders Through Caf at 7:00 pm Deciding Between Chicken Strips or Pizza
ST. PETER, MN– To the uninformed outsider, it seemed to be a normal Monday evening at the Evelyn Young Dining Hall. For first-year Naomi Billington, however, it was a tense and anxiety-filled […]
Annoying First-Year At HOCO Party Actually Four Alumni in a Trenchcoat
ST. PETER, MN – Gustavus celebrated homecoming this weekend, a beloved tradition of letting alumni pretend they’ve made their lives count. Events included a rave where black tar heroin was pumped into […]
Greek Life Hazing Ritual Makes Members Report to Nearest Army Recruiting Station
SAINT PETER, MN – For a few years now, Gustavus Adolphus College has proudly boasted that it has had relatively few hazing problems with its sororities and fraternities. Or so we all […]
Beloved Ted Running for President
ST. PETER, MN – What an amazing day to be alive, Gustavus! In a shocking turn of events for the semester, beloved Market Place staff member Ted Rosenback has announced his campaign […]
Chill Professor Forgoes Final in Favor of 1v1 Mixed Martial Arts Tournament
Finals week is upon us, and getting through it can be a difficult time for many students. After weeks of stress and anxiety over the upcoming final exam, a class of students […]
The Fourth Crown 