The following is a Student Senate-passed resolution regarding Student Senate resolutions passed on Monday, March 24, 2014: Submitted to: Gustavus Adolphus College Community Subject: Acts of Resolution and Our Resolve to Further […]
A Letter to the Editor of the Gustavian Weekly
Dear Editor, Following your exposé last week about our publication, the staff of the Fourth Crown has prepared this public letter in response to your criticisms of our emergence onto the campus […]
Rundstrom Ghost To Host ‘Spring Back to Life BBQ’
SAINT PETER—With an open invitation to all students, faculty, and poltergeists, the Rundstrom ghost is hosting the annual “Spring Back to Life Barbecue” outside of the Christ Chapel columbarium this Saturday at […]
Physics Major Leaves Olin
SAINT PETER—Under the belief that he was leaving for Christmas break, junior Physics major Leo Abernathy left Olin Hall for the first time since September 3, the first day of classes of […]
President’s Ball Schedule
President’s Ball is coming up this Saturday, March 15th at the Verizon Wireless Center in Mankato. Make the most of your night by getting all of the event details from The Fourth […]
Chaplain Siri Admits To Being Apple Developed Artificial Intelligence
SAINT PETER— Well into her eighth month as Chaplain of the College, Siri Erickson announced today that she is actually just a physical manifestation of Apple’s artificial intelligence software. With the announcement […]
Dive Renovations to Include Permanently Walling Off the Dive
SAINT PETER—Following the passing of the Student Senate proposal to revisit Dive renovations, a new master plan of the renovations has been released. Minneapolis-based architectural firm Habus & Corpis, Inc., in conjunction […]
‘Gustie Couples’ By the Numbers
BY THE NUMBERS: 60%: Pre-Gustie Couples rate of singlehood among Gusties. 0.03%: Current rate of singlehood among Gusties. 3: Number of pornographic videos streamed since Gustie Couples went live; a 99% decrease. 11: Number of times […]
Grouchy Troll Hired to Guard Walkway Between Student Union and Library
SAINT PETER- Amidst the excitement of hiring the next president of Gustavus, an important new addition to the Department of Campus Safety has gone largely unnoticed by the student body. Kurg, a […]
Spanish Program To Be Replaced With Klingon Studies
SAINT PETER—The Spanish Department is in disarray following the announcement by Theresa Gonzalez, Director for Cultural Education, that the school’s Spanish program will be replaced by a new curriculum of Klingon. Klingon […]
