ST. PAUL, MNㅡ Following a request for clarification from his girlfriend on which coworker was going to attend their dinner party, St. Paul resident and advocate for political correctness Tim Arden spent […]
RAQQA, SYRIA— Growing visibly emotional by the musical swell during the final verse, Senior ISIS Official Amir al-Karim could reportedly no longer hold back his tears late on Saturday night during the […]
DALLAS, TX— Announcing huge discounts on various internal organs, black market vendors slashed prices on kidneys, spleens, and livers early on Friday morning to celebrate Black Market Friday. Kicking off the holiday […]
STILLWATER, MN— Confirming that she “doesn’t deserve another crack at this shit,”members of the Hansen family told reporters late Wednesday that Grandma Jeanie would not be allowed within 3 feet of the […]
SAINT PETER — Insisting that he was on the verge of an existential crisis, First-Year Randy Samuels confirmed on Tuesday that he no longer has any idea where he can find naked […]
THE VATICAN— Continuing to take a progressive stance of prominent issues, Pope Francis announced late today that he prefers to identify as “spiritual, but not religious.” The Catholic Church confirmed that the […]
In the interest of providing you the most meaningful glance at the 2016 Presidential Election campaign field, The Fourth Crown has assembled the online dating profiles of some of the most popular POTUS candidates. […]
CHICAGO, IL— As Donald Trump continues to generate sensational and outlandish headlines, the satirical news source The Onion has been forced to layoff a majority of its writers. Trump’s campaign is only […]
WASHINGTON D.C.— Following the victory of the United States Women’s National Team late on Sunday afternoon, a new report issued by the Brookings Institute revealed that women’s soccer receives only 78% of […]
WASHINGTON— The United States Department of the Treasury announced plans to replace Alexander Hamilton’s face on the ten dollar bill with that of a noteworthy American woman. The new bill will be […]
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