SAINT PETER—As the dawn of a new ice age looms, Gustavus Adolphus College officials have suspended on-campus parking for the next 30,000 years, the projected end of this winter. Campus Safety is […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In one of the largest youth sit-ins in recent memory, first-year Sean Joseph was nearly arrested at the Keystone XL protest for mistakenly standing out against the Colorado-based beer brand, Keystone […]
SAINT PETER – Sophomore Gustavus student Ian Thompson has been taken into police custody regarding the assault of first-year burrito wrapper Megan Zillhart, whom Thompson allegedly wrapped in a yoga mat in […]
SAINT PETER—Responding to Candidate #1’s appearance on campus to become the next president of Gustavus Adolphus College, the Faculty Senate has already preemptively called for their resignation, citing “an inability to understand […]
SAINT PETER— New findings from a declassified CIA report indicate that Gustavus’ Alma Mater was part of a coordinated program of torture at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp in Cuba. The report […]
This Saturday marks the annual Case Day, an unofficial campus holiday in which a handful of students attempt to drink 24 beers in 24 hours. While the tradition has been described as […]
With Valentine’s Day upon us, The Fourth Crown has all the tips you need for a successful, romantic holiday: Avoid showering for the week leading up to Valentines Day and instead apply […]
SAINT PETER- In keeping with the organization’s efforts to fight the early stages of alcoholism which are often initiated in collegiate settings, Alcoholics Anonymous has relocated their regional headquarters to the back […]
SAINT PETER—In an attempt to boost their philanthropic efforts in the community, Gustavus fraternity Eta Xi Omega has accidentally adopted a three-month-old from Vietnam while attempting to adopt a section of Minnesota […]
The extended cold spells and short daylight hours of the Minnesota winter can trigger seasonal depression among already stressed out students. Here are The Fourth Crown’s tips for avoiding this mood disorder: […]
The Fourth Crown 