SAINT PETER, MN– After two days straight of heavy blizzard conditions in mid-April, Division III athletes are absolutely livid about how the weather is affecting their seasons. “We have hardly been […]
WASHINGTON D.C.- The biggest takeaway from a press conference held last week was President Trump stated that he plans to put steep tariffs on Vibranium entering the United States. “I have some […]
ST PETER MN- “The CF on Duty was exactly one minute and 43 seconds faster in response time than when I called them last week,” says first-year CHOICE student Hope Charity “and […]
SAINT PETER,MN- Tim Scottsmore had a sudden epiphany this past Monday; his life doesn’t pass the Bechdel Test. The Bechdel test is a simple test of fictional media which names the following three […]
SAINT PETER,MN- Sophomore Snick Minnows posted the following statement to the Overheard at Gustavus Facebook page last night. He is now claiming an abstinence from sexual activity until the eagerly awaited completion […]
SAINT PETER, MN- Can you really rank works of architecture that reflect different purposes, time periods, and personalities? Yes. If you’ve ever wondered what the sexiest buildings on campus are, we’ve done […]
1-Blame the Fence for Every Late Arrival: What is more annoying than having to create a new excuse for every time you’re late for something. This fence is a blessing in disguise […]
SAINT PETER, MN — Gus the Lion is currently searching for a new human host. He has posted on Craigslist, Facebook Marketplace, and EVERY POSTERBOARD IN CAMPUS CENTER. An ideal host […]
The commencement day speaker selection committee announced earlier this morning that Bose Soundlink Mini Bluetooth II Pearl Speakers will represent the class of 2018. Committee head, NononNsense Van Iwannabebecky explained: “We selected […]
St. Peter, MN- Sometimes we get a little bored of ripping on various faculty members and getting people upset over a joke about Sweet Martha’s Cookies, so we spend our free time […]
