SAINT PETER- In a formal banquet celebrating the close of the North American Cystic Fibrosis Conference (NACFC) last Friday, Gustavus Adolphus College was awarded the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation’s highest honor: a Gold […]
Gustavus Named “Cystic Fibrosis Gold Medal Facility;” Attributed to Ambiguity of Collegiate Fellow Position
Gustie Watches Fight Club, Life Is “Changed”
SAINT PETER—In what he is now calling a “life-changing event,” William Fisk’s first viewing of the 1999 David Fincher film Fight Club has left quite the impression on the first-year who had […]
Million Dollar Drug Seizure in Substance-Free Norelius Section
SAINT PETER—With the largest drug seizure in Minnesota private college history, Gustavus Campus Safety chalked up a major victory in the college’s anti-drug initiative by confiscating $4.9 million worth of heroin, cocaine, […]
FLASHBACK: John Kennedy’s Record-Breaking Run at the 2010 MIAC Championships
In the interest of preserving and celebrating our illustrious history of over 150 years, The Fourth Crown presents the first of a 2,928,608 part series, FLASHBACK, chronicling the most important events in […]
Nobel HoS Renovations Scheduled to be Completed in Time for them to be Obsolete
SAINT PETER- Professor of Chemistry Scott Bur, in conjunction with the architecture firm Hastings & Chivetta, has confirmed plans for a holistic renovation of the Nobel Hall of Science scheduled to be […]
Children’s Section in Library to be Eliminated and Replaced with President Ohle’s Complete Punk Music Catalog
SAINT PETER— Students and faculty are in an unsurprising uproar following the release of Gustavus President Jack Ohle’s proposed renovation plans to Folke Bernadotte Memorial Library. The proposed changes include removing the […]
Portal to the Multiverse Discovered in Basement of Administration Building
BREAKING– Sources have confirmed that a gateway to a reality beyond ours has been found between a cubicle and supply closet in the north side of the Administration basement. This news comes […]
First-Year Disappointed in Eckman Mall’s Lack of Forever 21; Food Court
SAINT PETER- First-year student Kelsey Rasmussen was overheard telling friends and family she was “just really confused” about the dearth of retail venues along Eckman Mall, the college’s 400 yard strip consisting […]
Women’s Volleyball’s Gustav II Adolf of Sweden ‘15 Crowned MIAC Athlete of the Week
CASTLE TRE KRONOR, SWEDEN- In a historic move, the Minnesota Interscholastic Athletic Conference has named Junior Women’s Volleyball player Gustav II Adolf, King of Sweden, their Athlete of the Week. Citing “the […]
Rookie Campus Safety Officer Looking to Make Name for Himself
SAINT PETER—Since his hire in early Decemeber, rookie Campus Safety officer Vic Pascutti has set a Gustavus record eighty-three underage drinking busts. Pascutti, whom Director of Campus Safety Song Biermacher called a […]
