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Sunday, January 24th, 2021

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Lund Renovation Still Happening

By fourthcrown on March 18, 2020

Opinion: “Fuck”

By fourthcrown on March 17, 2020

Tinder Hookup Becomes Latest Cancellation Due to Coronavirus

By fourthcrown on March 13, 2020

Lund Renovation to Hopefully Include Some Damn Febreze

By fourthcrown on March 5, 2020

Henati Club Inaugural Meeting This Friday Night

By fourthcrown on March 4, 2020

Gordon Ramsay Rates Caf Food

By fourthcrown on February 28, 2020

Portal to the Multiverse Discovered in Basement of Administration Building

By fourthcrown on January 19, 2014

BREAKING– Sources have confirmed that a gateway to a reality beyond ours has been found between a cubicle and supply closet in the north side of the Administration basement. This news comes […]

First-Year Disappointed in Eckman Mall’s Lack of Forever 21; Food Court

By fourthcrown on January 19, 2014 • ( 1 Comment )

SAINT PETER- First-year student Kelsey Rasmussen was overheard telling friends and family she was “just really confused” about the dearth of retail venues along Eckman Mall, the college’s 400 yard strip consisting […]

Women’s Volleyball’s Gustav II Adolf of Sweden ‘15 Crowned MIAC Athlete of the Week

By fourthcrown on January 19, 2014

CASTLE TRE KRONOR, SWEDEN- In a historic move, the Minnesota Interscholastic Athletic Conference has named Junior Women’s Volleyball player Gustav II Adolf, King of Sweden, their Athlete of the Week. Citing “the […]

Rookie Campus Safety Officer Looking to Make Name for Himself

By fourthcrown on January 19, 2014 • ( 3 Comments )

SAINT PETER—Since his hire in early Decemeber, rookie Campus Safety officer Vic Pascutti has set a Gustavus record eighty-three underage drinking busts. Pascutti, whom Director of Campus Safety Song Biermacher called a […]

IM Basketball Standout Won’t Stop Talking About High School

By fourthcrown on January 18, 2014

  SAINT PETER—After scoring 34 points and grabbing 15 rebounds in only his second career intramural basketball game, first-year Zach Lewis is gaining the reputation of being one of the league’s most […]

Confused Board of Trustees Irrevocably Repeals Indoor Smoking Ban

By fourthcrown on January 18, 2014 • ( 1 Comment )

SAINT PETER – After a wave of student advocacy for an all-campus smoking ban, a confused Board of Trustees briefly discussed and passed an irrevocable measure that immediately dissolves the standing indoor […]

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