SAINT PETER—Shortly after their ceremonial destruction of the sand mandala, the visiting Tibetan monks took to the kickball field and promptly routed the number one ranked team. The monks won 18 – […]
Tibetan Monks “Put On a Clinic” At Intramural Coed Kickball Game
Gus’s Travels: Bethel University
‘Gus’s Travels’ is an ongoing series of articles written by sophomore The Fourth Crown contributor Gus Andersson. Gus spends one day each week at a different Minnesota college, bringing back insights on the […]
FOLLOW-UP: Oil Executives Handcuff Themselves at SCOTUS Steps
BREAKING—After shutting down operations of their respective companies, a group of nearly one hundred former oil executives have handcuffed themselves at the steps of the Supreme Court of the United States, urging […]
BREAKING: $23 Trillion Oil Industry Derailed by Balloons and Plastic Drums
BREAKING—In response to throngs of students gathered outside of Christ Chapel Friday morning for Divest-Fest, the five largest oil and gas companies in the United States have shut down production of their […]
Timeflies Discovered to be Stage Name for Gavin DeGraw
SAINT PETER—With the date for the Campus Activity Board’s Big Concert fast approaching, insider sources revealed Thursday that headliner Timeflies is actually just a stage name for Gavin DeGraw. The news was […]
‘Doctor Who’ Fan Isn’t a Total Douche About It
SAINT PETER—In a groundbreaking display of moderate enthusiasm, junior student Taylor Ericsen nonchalantly revealed to close friends he is a lifelong fan of the hit BBC series Doctor Who. Ericsen is the […]
Majority of Student Body Still Not Sure What Really Happens in the Tennis Bubble
SAINT PETER — In what is quickly becoming one of the biggest mysteries in recent campus history, an athletic department-sponsored surveymonkey has indicated the majority of students and faculty have no clear […]
COMMENTARY: The Student Senate Assault on Gustavian Cultural Heritage
The Student Senate Assault on Gustavian Cultural Heritage By Sean Joseph As a third-generation Gustie, the tradition of this institution is a core part of who I am. Thus, I stand in […]
Junior Thankful Jesus Christ Rose From the Grave; Gives Opportunity to Binge-Watch ‘House’ on Netflix
SAINT PETER— Conveying his utmost gratitude to the Creator for resurrecting his son Jesus Christ, student Damian Jackson revealed today that he plans to spend the entire Easter Break binge-watching “House, M.D.,” […]
Men’s Track Team Wins Relay for Life
SAINT PETER- In an unexpected display of impressive athleticism, the Men’s Track & Field Team won the Relay for Life event held in Lund Center on Friday night. The event, which was […]
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