ST. PETER, MN – Gustavus students were shocked on Wednesday when they received an email from President Rebecca Bergman stating that this year’s fall break has been canceled. The email, entitled “Wednesday […]
Fall Break Postponed Until Spring
OPINION: The Fourth Crown is Only Funny Until it Makes Fun of Me
SAINT PETER, MN – Junior exercise physiology major Ashley Larson contributes: I don’t know about the rest of you Gusties, but I think the Fourth Crown is pretty funny most of the […]
Tides of Trouble: A Note From Physical Plant
ST. PETER, MN–It’s that time of year again Gusties. The Freshman class are being pushed to new extremes and the upperclassmen are once again resigning themselves to their fate of returning to […]
Student Aimlessly Wanders Through Caf at 7:00 pm Deciding Between Chicken Strips or Pizza
ST. PETER, MN– To the uninformed outsider, it seemed to be a normal Monday evening at the Evelyn Young Dining Hall. For first-year Naomi Billington, however, it was a tense and anxiety-filled […]
Annoying First-Year At HOCO Party Actually Four Alumni in a Trenchcoat
ST. PETER, MN – Gustavus celebrated homecoming this weekend, a beloved tradition of letting alumni pretend they’ve made their lives count. Events included a rave where black tar heroin was pumped into […]
Greek Life Hazing Ritual Makes Members Report to Nearest Army Recruiting Station
SAINT PETER, MN – For a few years now, Gustavus Adolphus College has proudly boasted that it has had relatively few hazing problems with its sororities and fraternities. Or so we all […]
Beloved Ted Running for President
ST. PETER, MN – What an amazing day to be alive, Gustavus! In a shocking turn of events for the semester, beloved Market Place staff member Ted Rosenback has announced his campaign […]
Chill Professor Forgoes Final in Favor of 1v1 Mixed Martial Arts Tournament
Finals week is upon us, and getting through it can be a difficult time for many students. After weeks of stress and anxiety over the upcoming final exam, a class of students […]
Health Service Offering Brazilian Butt Lifts Just in Time for Summer
ST. PETER, MN – The meager days of sunshine we have experienced in the past week have prompted many students to break out the shorts they have had stashed in the […]
Campus Safety to Mandate Walking Permits
ST. PETER, MN. – Parking Permits. We all know them. We all hate them. But we all need them in order to drive the necessary 20 minutes in any direction from […]
The Fourth Crown 