SAINT PETER, MN — Happy (almost) finals week, Gusties! With all of our assignments, papers, projects, and exams coming up, we here at The Fourth Crown know that it gets to be […]
Health Services to Offer Complimentary Medically-Induced Comas for Finals Week
Gustavus Eliminates Chinese Program as Part of Trade War on China
St. Peter, MN- With the elimination of the Chinese Language program at Gustavus Adolphus the Trump administration has landed on new blow in the trade war against China. Insiders in the White […]
Senior Art Show Just a Bunch of Nudes
SAINT PETER, MN- Every spring, many departments host senior showcases where students share the results of their capstone/thesis/experiment. Even senior studio art majors finally get the attention they always seem to demand […]
Fourth Crown Review- Marvel’s the Avengers: Infinity War
SAINT PETER, MN- It’s been ten years since the beginning of the Marvel Cinematic Universe b release of Iron Man in 2008. Since the creation of Marvel Studios, there have been many […]
Head Track Coach Humanely Slaughters Hurdler After Broken Leg
SAINT PETER, MN — Gustavus Track and Field has been in full swing in their outdoor season. This past Saturday, Gustavus hosted the Drake Alternative Relays, which featured some great performances for […]
Sohre to be Renamed ‘The Heartbreak Hotel’
PETER MN- Room Draw came around and has left us again for another year, only to have left quite a few residents of Gustavus Adolphus College not happy with their room draw […]
PA’s Accidentally Give out Real Pot Brownies
SAINT PETER, MN- The Gustavus Peer Assistants have been placed under disciplinary censure after allegedly distributing actual pot brownies instead of regular and clean brownies. Senior PA, Gina Sausage explained: “Every year […]
Student’s Grandma Passes Away for Third Time This Semester
SAINT PETER, MN- For freshman student Hunter McNeil, tragedy has struck once again. Not for the first, nor the second, but for the THIRD time this semester, his grandma passed away. We […]
Finalist for Provost Position is Just Count Olaf in Disguise
OPINION PIECE, SAINT PETER, MN— There is a wolf in a sheep’s clothing lurking around campus. The phrase “a wolf in sheep’s clothing” does not refer to a wolf that raided the […]
DIII Athletes Pissed About Blizzard As If It Matters
SAINT PETER, MN– After two days straight of heavy blizzard conditions in mid-April, Division III athletes are absolutely livid about how the weather is affecting their seasons. “We have hardly been […]
