SAINT PETER, MN — A prescribed hunt has been declared on campus for the increasing population of football players currently on campus. Javelin throwers on the track and field team have been […]
Track Team Sends Javelin Throwers to Thin Out Herd of Football Players
Game of Thrones: Rebecca Bergman Revealed to be Night King
WINTERFELL, Westeros — Well, GoT, the Battle of Winterfell finally came to us. Can somebody say SHOOKETH?! Of course with all the upsetting deaths and crazy revelations, it’s hard to pick a […]
GAC to Get Its Own GoT Spinoff Titled “Dean of Students”
ST PETER MN- Many nerdy celebrations were held late Sunday Night by Gusties when Game of Thrones Twitter Fan @NemoRocksMySocks leaked a statement stating that George R.R. Martin and other Game of […]
Dragons From Game of Thrones Taking a Break From Acting
SAINT PETER, MN— The season premiere for the final season of Game of Thrones aired on HBO two days ago; after the show’s eight-year run time many fans are wondering what […]
Professor Sends Out “Class Not Cancelled” Email, Is a Huge Tease
SAINT PETER, MN- As an effort to really shit on her students, Professor Jane Hughes in the math department sent out an email today to her students letting them know that class […]
Student Senate Filled With Sexual Tension
SAINT PETER, MN — Spring is in the air, which means new relationships are blooming! It seems that everywhere around campus the spirit of new beginnings has taken hold, and our very […]
Swim Team To Start Outdoor Season In Sidewalk Puddles
SAINT PETER, MN- Good news for GAC swimmers looking to increase their time in the water; the sidewalk puddles all around campus are now reserved from 7:00 to 9:00 every evening for […]
Chamber of Secrets Found Beneath Lund Center – Renovations Halted
SAINT PETER, MN – This just in on the renovation process of the Lund Center: operations have been halted due to a secret chamber, a “chamber of secrets” perhaps, being discovered beneath […]
The Fourth Crown Transcends The Concept of Death
SAINT PETER, MN— Blessed be this day, Gusties, for the Fourth Crown will live along with the literary works of Shakespeare, Marx, and John Green until the ever-expanding Sun burns this planet […]
Tennis Bubble Undergoes Mitosis, Splits in Two
SAINT PETER, MN- In a turn of events that can only be described as “spooky as hell”, the Swanson Tennis Center underwent the cellular process of mitosis on Tuesday, splitting into two […]
