STANDARD DISCLAIMER: THE FOURTH CROWN HAS NOT SEEN THIS MOVIE, BUT WE DO HAVE SOME OPINIONS ON IT. SAINT PETER, MN- Venom (2018) is a movie directed by Ruben Fleischer starring Tom […]
Fourth Crown Film Predictions: Venom
Lin-Manuel Miranda Announces Next Project, “Bergman: The Musical”
ST PETER MN- Late Wednesday night, Sophomore Gina Savage was walking aimlessly between Arbor View and College View, trying to sneak into some sort of Wine Wednesday shinbag, when she heard someone […]
Geology Student Brushes Up on Fun Soil Facts for Nobel Babes
SAINT PETER, MN- “This is going to be my week”, said Junior Gustie Keith Swanson, “it’s my time to shine”. Keith is a Geology major from Hastings, Minnesota, considered by some to […]
Sixth Pillar of Gustavus Named: Honest Tea
SAINT PETER, MN- Here at Gustavus, our diverse community has many facets that make us all unique individuals living together in a sympathetic collective. A collective that is conveniently split into five, […]
Vikings Lose To Buffalo Bills
Minneapolis, MN- In a surprising twist of fate, the pundits were proven wrong this Sunday as the highly lauded Vikings squad were absolutely blown up by the lowly Buffalo Bills. Rookie Josh […]
Tobacco Ban 100% Effective
SAINT PETER, MN- “We fucking did it, you guys”, President Bergman commented on the success of the campus-wide tobacco ban. All reports and studies of any kind have concluded that the tobacco […]
Couple Hooking Up Pretty Sure Roommate Asleep
St. Peter, MN- College is known to be a time of sexual awakening and experimentation for many young people. Some students discover that they don’t need to get weird to have fun, […]
Definitive Ranking of all the AC on Campus
St. Peter MN- We here at the Fourth Crown are pretty darn good at pointing out the plain obvious; we say it as it is. That means that we are not lying […]
Ten Memes That Were Funnier Before Hurricane Florence
1: FACEBOOK EVENT MEMES: Facebook Event memes had their time to shine back when everyone on the internet was trying to steal all of Minnesota’s lakes and deface Chicago’s Bean statue, but […]
LineUs: A Review
SAINT PETER, MN-As the campus’s leading authority on comedy, we here at the Fourth Crown have come to conclusion that LineUs is no longer relevant to the Gustavus lifestyle. We have taken […]
